<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Yellow Socks by sasageyowrites</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28410444">Yellow Socks</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasageyowrites/pseuds/sasageyowrites'>sasageyowrites</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Death, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Pregnancy, Reader-Insert, Sad Ending, Tragedy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:22:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,706</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28410444</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasageyowrites/pseuds/sasageyowrites</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Being pregnant is not a thrill you like to experience. But you figured it would be ok with Levi by your side, however things are never ok. But things are never ok. Not with Titans in the world.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) &amp; Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>152</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Yellow Socks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Uploaded from my Tumblr sasageyowrites.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Disclaimer: I don’t own AoT, or you or the gif below.</p><p>Warnings: swearing, child birth, death, violence, etc</p><p>Do not repost</p><p> </p><p>Being pregnant was not something you thoroughly enjoyed.</p><p>You could remember from a young age all the women telling you how wonderful it was to feel your baby kick for the first time, how beautiful the birth was and how much you would love carrying your baby until it could meet the real world. Being pregnant was painted like a dream and as a women it was said that having a baby was your number one role in life.</p><p>Of course you had your own initiative and had never once believed anything those women had told you.</p><p>You had heard them screaming when they gave birth, you had seen their morning sickness and swollen ankles and it was not something you wanted to participate in. You were quite happy to go your whole life without ever having to need children.</p><p>Why would you? You had everything you could ever want.</p><p>A stable profession, friends and family. You had never anticipated ever wanting a runt of your own.</p><p>But, like with everyone, the cogs of time never stopped turning And as you grew up things happened.</p><p>You met a man, you fell in love and got married, you knew what came after marriage, the same thing that happens to almost every woman within the Trost District: a baby.</p><p>So now you stood in your parents’ kitchen washing the dishes from lunch, the china slippy beneath your fingers as the warm water bathed your hands while you ran the cloth back and forth, the plate ware squeaking beneath each stroke of the damp rag you had in your hands. The soapy suds clinging to your red hands that began to sting from the heat from the water that swelled in the sink.</p><p>You stared out the window that resided above the sink, the wooden shutters pulled back to present you with the street you had grown up in.</p><p>The sun was casting warm rays of golden light onto the world below, the shouts of children playing nearby filling your ears and you wondered, if your own child’s shouts would be heard with them one day. Two women stood off to the side, hanging up huge cotton white bedsheets in the locks washing lines. Wicker baskets tucked under their arms as they mattered with eachother and you grimaced, you hoped that you wouldn’t be one of them, your worst fear was becoming a housewife and after years of fighting on the front lines you knew a domestic lifestyle was not one for you. But having a baby would change that.</p><p>You shuddered at the thought and tried to pull your mind from the future, it was too far away to think about. Instead you let your gaze wander to the cherry tree that stood outside the kitchen window. The candy pink petals sailing off the branches and drifting through the air, covering the beige cobble stone streets in a carpet of blush pink petals.</p><p>Placing the last plate on the side of the wooden counter with a soft clink, you switched the tap off and ran an arm over your forehead, careful to avoid using your soapy hand as you pushed stray locks of hair, that had fallen from its braid, out of your face.</p><p>You sighed reaching down to grab the skirt of your dress, finding it difficult to reach due to your swollen and protruding stomach.</p><p>You growled, releasing a curse, as you dropped the blue fabric from your fingers. The baby bump having gotten in the way of being able to dry your hands on your clothing as your hand brushed against it, causing you to once again drop your makeshift towel. It had been a while since you had worn a dress, the military uniform you wore had excluded you from ever having to wear a skirt or dress again, another flaw with being pregnant was having to wear maternity dresses.</p><p>“You are a pain in the ass. You know that right?” you grumbled glaring down at your bump and folding your arms over your chest.</p><p>As if to respond you felt your baby kick your ribs, a sharp jab emitting from your side and you chuckled. Unfolding your arms and running a hand over where you felt the baby move.</p><p>You had to admit that despite feeling exhausted most of the time, you were glad to be having this baby with your husband. It seemed the kid was already a fighter, why wouldn’t it be? It’s father was Humanities Strongest.</p><p>Gently you ran your fingers over your baby bump, a small smile on your face as you stared down at your stomach.</p><p>“Are you already falling out with your child?”</p><p>You glanced up from your baby bump, keeping a hand perched on top of it as you turned your head to look at where your parents sat round the kitchen table. Your father engrossed in the newspaper, his eyes narrowed in concentration as his ageing eyes made it difficult for him to read. Your mother sat beside him, her knitting having stopped as she gave you a warm smile.</p><p>“I’m not falling out with it.” you say, turning to face her and leaning against the counter “I’m just trying to discipline it from the get go. I don’t need a temperamental brat running around.”</p><p>“I’m sure Levi will discipline the child, it’s your job to be there when that husband of your makes it cry.” your mother says and you sigh, rolling your eyes “I’m still so surprised you two of all people are having a baby.”</p><p>You frown at your mother’s words.</p><p>You weren’t offended by it and if you were you couldn’t tell. Levi wasn’t exactly the type of man people expected would want to settle down. Infact your wedding had been a big enough shock to everyone within the three walls, so the announcement of your pregnancy had been the biggest talk of the districts since Shiganshina fell.</p><p>“What can I say?” you shrug pushing off the counter and walking (waddling) towards the dinner table, pulling a chair out and sitting down opposite your mother, resting both hands on your bump as you reclined into the wooden chair “we’re both full of surprises.”</p><p>“You’ve been that way since you were little.” your mother hums picking up her unfinished knitting, the yellow wool twisting around the bronze needles to firm what you could only assume was a small sock “hasn’t she dear?”</p><p>You and your mother both turn your attention to your father who is still too engrossed in his newspaper to hear. Your mother sighs in annoyance, her eyes shifting into a glare directed at you oblivious father and you giggle when he feels his wife’s gaze boring into him.</p><p>“Sorry honey what did you say?” he asks not looking up from his paper as he turns the page.</p><p>“Never mind.” your mother muttered as she focused back on her knitting.</p><p>“That’s nice.” your dad says airily, still not listening to what your mother had said.</p><p>“(Y/n) can we swap men? You can have your father stay with you for a week and I can have Levi. Maybe then someone will listen to me.” your mother says, directing the last part at your still oblivious father who only nods.</p><p>“No thanks. I’ve lived with dad for fifteen years, you can keep him.” you laugh, pulling your braid over you shoulder to play with the loose hair on the end of the plait “besides I think Levi would rather stay with his pregnant wife.”</p><p>“Where is that husband of your anyways?” your mum asks as she continues to knit, the needles clacking against eachother as the mess of honey yellow wool is manipulated by her expert hands.</p><p>“He’s sorting some things out back at the head quarters.” you reply absentmindedly noticing the look your mother gives you and you can’t help but feel exasperated by her and you know what she’s going to say.</p><p>”Don’t start.” you warn as she opens her mouth “Levi is doing everything he can be support me, so don’t start saying things unless it’s to compliment his efforts and not berate them.”</p><p>Levi was a good husband to you, you could name countless times he had been the most caring and loving person in the world toward you. You knew the life you both shared wasn’t easy to integrate marriage into, but you both managed to be there for eachother when it mattered. Since your maternity leave from the scouts Levi had volunteered to take up extra hours to save you having a mountain of unfinished paperwork when you came back, despite having told him not to.</p><p>Your mother, being a traditional woman, was not impressed that the man you loved was not with you as much as he should be during your most vulnerable time and made sure you were aware of her opinion.</p><p>“I wasn’t going to say anything .” you mother says, instantly backing down and you nod.</p><p>There’s a brief silence filled with the clacking and clicking of your mothers knitting needles as she continues to make the sock. You smirk, you already know who it’s for.</p><p>“So why’d you choose yellow for my baby’s socks?” you ask reaching forward, careful not to bump the table with your bump as your take a string of loose wool to play with.</p><p>“Its a gender neutral colour, I’m not giving a baby boy pink socks.”</p><p>“I hope you wouldn’t give my daughter pink socks either.” you mumble as you run the yellow wool strand through your fingers.</p><p>The material is soft and fluffy under your touch as you loop around your right ring finger.</p><p>“Pink is for girls (y/n), if I knew your baby was a girl I’d give her pink socks.”</p><p>“I refuse to let any daughter of mine wear pink.” you answer “I hate that colour.”</p><p>“But you looked so cute in your pink socks when your grandma made you a pair.”</p><p>“I didn’t voluntarily wear them you know.”</p><p>Your mother only laughs at your bluntness, shaking her head at your dry and senseless persona.</p><p>“So remind when you’re due again.”</p><p>“Sometime next week,” you answer and the same look from before crosses your mothers face “don’t say anything…”</p><p>“Well how can I not when my baby is days away from giving birth and her husband isn’t with her.”</p><p>“Mum please don’t start again.” you moan taking a hand through your hair, the wool you had been playing with earlier falling to the floor “Levi will be here when the baby is, he’s a good man and he loves me. He’s my husband and I understand he has important work.”</p><p>“More important then you it seems.”</p><p>“That’s not true and you know it.” you sigh “you’re just worried about me.”</p><p>The older woman remains silent but you can see the storm in her eyes. Thankfully she ceased the argument, grumbling quietly to herself as she finished off the sock.</p><p>If she was angry with you or Levi it was something you didn’t care to know. You knew that when it came to it, your partner would always be by your side, it wasn’t like he had ever let you down before. Your mum had been so thrilled when you said you were marrying the lieutenant of the Survey Corps, it would bring your family status but now it seemed she wasn’t so embedded in the relationship. You didn’t care. Why would you?</p><p>“I think I’m going upstairs for a nap.” you say rising from the chair to your aching feet.</p><p>“Do you need a hand up the stairs sweetheart?” your dad asks finally looking up from his paper and you shake your head.</p><p>“No it’s fine. I’ve been alive for twenty nine years dad, I know how to climb stairs.” you answer sarcastically and your dad grins at you clearly thankful he didn’t have to put down the paper.</p><p>Tucking your chair back under the table you make your way to the wooden staircase in the corner of the kitchen. Your stiff legs protesting with each slow step you take, placing a hand on your sore back you make your way to the stair case and reach out for the banister.</p><p>You hated being so out of shape, only a few steps and you were a panting mess. The heat didn’t help either, it was unusually hot today and it only made simple tasks all the more difficult.</p><p>Lifting a leg you shuffled into the first step, clinging to the banister for dear life, you held a hand under your bump as you walked sideways up the stairs unable to see the steps properly.</p><p>“Oh (y/n)!” your mum falls after you from the kitchen.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Your father and I are going into the market later, so we won’t be here when you wake up.”</p><p>“Sure thing.” you answer as you continue the climb, almost at the top of the stairs.</p><p>The wave of triumph that washed through you was sadly exhilarating. You had accomplished much greater things in your life but it seemed that walking up the stairs while pregnant was too if the list.</p><p>Mentally applauding yourself, you made your way along the landing to make it to your old bedroom which had been turned into a guest bedroom. You closed the door behind yourself, not bothering to shut the blinds as you moved over the bed sitting on the edge of it to remove your shoes, pulling back the covers and sliding under neath them.</p><p>The double bed was welcoming for your stiff joints and you felt the mattress dip under your extra weight. The pillow cool and soft beneath your head as you snuggled into the sheets, the warmth following the comfort and making your eyes grow heavy.</p><p>Sighing you let your eyes flutter closed, the physical exhaustion having drained you and you were soon in a world of black.</p><p>…</p><p>The shaking of the ground wasn’t the only think had woken you from your nap. The screams that tore outside your window had interrupted your moment of peace and had it not been for the panic of hearing the Trost citizens shrieking beneath the window you would have been annoyed.</p><p>Lazily your eyes fluttered open, the bed trembling beneath you as the ground quaked. Your parents house rattling causing things to fall off shelves and stands, falling to the floor with loud crashes as the building you were in vibrated.</p><p>Your first instinct was to jump up from bed and find your parents, but the burden of being pregnant prevented you from doing so and it took you moment to remember they weren’t home.</p><p>You could feel your heart hammer in your chest as you slowly sat up and stood up from the bed, pulling the covers away and rising to your feet. The wooden floors shivering from what you could only describe as an earthquake.</p><p>You stumbled towards the window, almost falling when another violent shake ripped through the earth. You leaned on the wardrobe for support as you edged towards the window. Gasping in relief when your fingers gripped the windowsill and you allowed yourself a breather as you tried to regain composure.</p><p>The yells and panicked cries of the people below drew your attention away from yourself and out into the district.</p><p>The sigh before you made your heart drop.</p><p>Titans.</p><p>Smoke poured into the sky in great billowing plumes, the unmistakable shapes of Titans roaming through the streets, their dead eyes and sting and searching the crowded streets for people to devour, with each step they took the ground would quiver. You could see their heads above the sea of rooftops, scarlet blood staining their veiny skin and hideous grins plastered on their ugly faces as they wandered through the Trost district.</p><p>In a panic you looked further out the window to see a giant hole had been kicked into the wall. The rock splintered and shattered, huge bits of rubble having crushed the houses nearby and the streets were stained with blood from the bodies that lay in mangled heaps on the floor. You could see the movements of garrison newbies and cadets whizzing above he roof tops, their blades flashing in the sunlight and the sound of cannon fire filled your ears.</p><p>Whatever had caused it had vanished but it was clear to see that more and more Titans were pouring in.</p><p>“By the walls.” you whispered upon seeing the chaos, your legs growing weak and heart thundering in your rib cage so violently the sound of it flooded your head.</p><p>For a moment you wondered where your parents were, quickly renewing they were at the market on the other side of Trost, you rousing be seeing them anytime soon.</p><p>You were alone.</p><p>In any other situation you would not hesitate to grab your ODM gear and slay whatever beast lay in your path. But you were no good out there, not in your current shape. You cousins out run one of those things, what could you do?</p><p>You knew the only solution was to stay inside and hide, pray that the demons wouldn’t find you. But if Trost was lost to the Titans, if this part of Wall Rose was taken you would be left behind and more then likely die, so would your baby.</p><p>Anyone else in your situation would more then likely scream for help from the window and hope someone would be good willed enough to stop. But you had been trained to never crack under the most extreme pressure, crying for help would only alert more Titans to were you were. Looking around they weren’t close enough to have noticed your presence, but you could see they were lumbering closer to where you were so you had to act now.</p><p>Grunting, you slammed the shutters closed blocking out the piercing screams and the unholy sight of the Titans storming your home town.</p><p>You had no other plan for now, staying out of the way was your best bet and until the scouts showed up, which they would, you would lay low in the bedroom.</p><p>“Ok baby,” you cooed to your bump with a determined glare on your face “mummy’s going to look after you, I’ve got us ok? Just wait until daddy sho-“</p><p>You were cut off when you felt something trickle down your leg from under your skirt. A strand of what felt like water was sliding down your legs and onto the floor under your skirts.</p><p>The air caught in your lungs as your heart dropped so fast in your chest it also hurt, it took a while to register what had just happened until a sharp stabbing pain cane from your stomach and a moan of pain left your lips. You were quick to clamp a hand over your mouth to muffle the moans of discomfort as the pain only grew, the throbbing and feeling of searing heat flashing through you, a cramping feeling coming from your bump in agonising waves.</p><p>You knew what was happening. You were going into labour.</p><p>“Shit.” you cursed as your bent over the bed, a trembling hand gripping the bed frame as you bent over taking deep and shaking breaths as the pain continued to emit, your head growing faint from the aching from your stomach “but now, please not now kid. Couldn’t you have stayed in a little longer?”</p><p>Another contraction occurred in response and you sucked in another deep breath.</p><p>“Ok, it’s ok.” you whispered to yourself as you stood up straight trying to push through the pain as you exited the bedroom “it’s ok. I just need hot water, some blankets and…and….argh…stone hard will.”</p><p>You grunted as you made your way down the landing to the bathroom, slightly hunched over as the contractions swept by each one seemingly more painful then the last. You made sure to count how far apart they were, fortunately they were not too close together but close enough to make you pick up the pace.</p><p>“You have really bad timing kid.” you chuckle, wincing as the cramping behind again and you open the bathroom door “wait till your father gets here.”</p><p>…</p><p>Get moving!” Levi yelled from atop his horse, his voice drowning the flood of scouts who ran around everywhere readying their horses “move any slower and I’ll make sure none of you get to sleep for a year! We are not losing this wall!”</p><p>It was clear to anyone who looked close enough that the stoic captain had in usual glint his eyes that one could only recognise as terror.</p><p>His face, while in its usual deadpan expression, held a slight edge to it and his eyes were narrowed with a dangerous look in his monochrome irises.</p><p>To say he was distressed was an understatement.</p><p>Levi had become a master of controlling his emotions over the years and it was rare to see him expel any kind of attitude other then bored when not in battle, anyone who knew him would also know that he was a very emotional person who had long since taught himself to keep those emotions under wraps. But he was really struggling to not just take off toward wall Rose by himself, his patience was wearing thin and everyone knew why so their desperate attempts to get ready were faster paced then normal.</p><p>“COME ON!” Levi bellowed when he saw one of the newer scouts fumble with his ODM gear “lives are at risk here! The people you care about are in danger! I don’t want any innocent lives to be taken by our fault!”</p><p>He sat back in his saddle, his jaw clenched and head lowered. His ebony hair falling into his face as he gripped the leather reins tighter in his small hands, he could feel Petra’s eyes bore into him from where she stood mounted on her bay horse beside him. He didn’t care to acknowledge her obvious concern, he wasn’t in the mood to hear any words of attempted reassurance from her.</p><p>“Captain.”</p><p>But of course, she would try anyways to console him. It was Petra.</p><p>“What is it Petra?” he grumbled, his body tense as he waited for the signal to move.</p><p>“It’s going to be ok sir.” she said quietly by his side.</p><p>He turned his gaze towards her, the ginger’s eyes were soft in a consoling manner but he could see the anxiety in their depths. You had been her best friend when on his squad, she would never feel the same about you he did that was obvious but he knew that she wasn’t trying to calm only him down: she was trying to calm herself down too.</p><p>“She’s going to be ok captain.” she reassured again, breaking eye contact with him to look at the gate infront of them, her hands trembling as she gripped her reins.</p><p>Levi didn’t say anything, instead his glare was fixated on the giant wooden gate that stood between him and the woman he loved.</p><p>His heart although steady in his chest, was clenching with anticipation and anxiety, his breathing falling and rising in rapid breaths as his fingers gripped his reins even tighter and his body trembled as he saw the gates begin to move.</p><p>“MOVE!” he yelled kicking his midnight black steed into a gallop the moment there was enough room in the gates.</p><p>The sound of thundering hooves chasing behind him as his horse galloped along the fields between the plaza and Wall Rose, the wind flying through his hair and carp causing the emerald material to fly behind him. His horse’s loud snorts filling his ears and the surrounding hills a green blur falling and rising beside him.</p><p>His wedding ring glinting on his finger in the sunlight as he made his way to where he knew you were, praying to anyone who could hear that you and his baby were safe and alive.</p><p>Because he didn’t know what he do if you weren’t.</p><p>…</p><p>“Fuck!” you seethed through a towel you had clamped in your mouth as another wave of crippling pain swept through you.</p><p>It felt as if someone had gripped your organs and was squeezing them in a vice like grip, a tightness in your chest that restricted your breathing as you lay on the bed, having removed your underwear but left your skirts on should you have to make a quick get away. But you weren’t sure how quick a get away could be when you were dilated and giving birth and you didn’t want to leave the comfort of your bed as you lay on your back.</p><p>The bed sheets were gripped tightly in your hands as you bit down harder on the towel that you had in your mouth to suppress the screams, it was a weak option to make as little as noise as possible but if it meant your position could be kept secret from the Titans who still wandered outside, it was an option you were willing to take.</p><p>You didn’t know how long you had been in labour for and you didn’t care. The pain was intense and at time you had feared you would pass out from the exhaustion. Sweat and tears were rolling down your face as you painted in the bed, the towel between your teeth growing damp as saliva drooled from your lips.</p><p>You squeezed your eyes shut as you were allowed a moment of temporary peace, the contractions having stopped for a while and you let the towel fall from your lips. Your breathing shaking and your lips trembling as you reached an arm up, trying to wipe the tears and sweat from your face. Your hair clinging to forehead in matted locks and your body ached from the strain.</p><p>You had never felt more exhausted and you only wanted Levi.</p><p>You wanted your husband and even though men weren’t allowed in the birthing room, you knew that Levi would have fought tooth and nail to be in the same room as you when you gave birth. You wanted nothing more then to hear his settling voice that had brought you so much comfort over the years, your wanted to grip his hands and yell at him for being so stupid and getting you pregnant. You wanted him to make you laugh through the pain as he told you some stupid joke about Erwin or Mike, you wanted the man you loved.</p><p>Instead of his hand to hold you only had the bedsheets to grasp. Instead of his voice to soothe and calm you, you could only listen to the screams and cannon fire from the outside. And instead of his eyes to gaze into, instead of those cold yet beautiful silver eyes to warmly look into and ease your agony, you only had the empty bedroom of your parents house.</p><p>Another moan left your lips as the dull ache flared up again in your abdomen.</p><p>You let your head fall back into the pillows, your chest falling and rising in rapid breaths as you tried to calm yourself. You were terrified. The pain was like nothing you had ever felt but that wasn’t the only reason, anything could go wrong and the one person you trusted to keep you safe was miles behind wall Rose. You were alone in this with only your muffled screams for company.</p><p>“Levi…” you gasped, your mouth open as you tried to suck in as much as air as possible, as if the air possessed magical healing qualities you craved it hoping that any deep inhale you toon would chase the agony away “Levi please…I….arrrgh….p-please Levi I’m scared.”</p><p>But he couldn’t hear your pleas. How could he?</p><p>Another groan left your lips as your body got ready for another contraction. The urge to scream had never been greater but if there were titans outside your house, they would hear you in a heartbeat.</p><p>“Can you please just stop?” you growled, glaring at your stomach “can’t you just have waited?”</p><p>Your question was answered by a sharp kick.</p><p>“It’s ok.” you heaved as you attempted to sit up getting ready to position yourself for the birth “it’s ok. He’ll find us, he’ll find us.”</p><p>You sat yourself up, slowly and carefully as he dead weight made movement sluggish and difficult.</p><p>Tears still leaked from your eyes in hit streaks and you could feel the urge to push. You knew it was time to begin and push the brat but you didn’t have the strength, you couldn’t find the energy to even begin to try and fight the last half of the battle.</p><p>Your eyes we’re threatening to close as your eyelids grew heavy, your mind almost numb from trying to yourself to go on but you couldn’t seem to despiser the noises outside from reality or your own pounding head.</p><p>You could feel the cannon fire from the garrison and the ground continued to shake.</p><p>Your fellow soldiers were out there fighting for their lives and the sake of humanity. Good people were sacrificing their lives to ensure your baby, Levi’s baby, had a chance to live in a ray of peace. If those men and women could continue to endure the battle against the Titans, then you sure as fuck could give birth to your baby.</p><p>With a new found determination you grabbed the towel that had fallen from your lips, biting your teeth into the soft fabric. Your jaw aching from the effort of keeping it tight in your lips, you reached your hands out to grab the bed sheets again. The material creasing beneath your clammy fingers. You furrowed your brow, a fire building inside you as another cannon ringed in the air reminding you that there were people fighting for you.</p><p>Counting the seconds until the next cannon fire you waited, squeezing your eyes closed as you waited for the next explosion to ring through the air.</p><p>3</p><p>You gripped the bed sheets tighter.</p><p>2</p><p>You inhaled a deep breath, your toes curling as you inhaled a deep breath</p><p>1</p><p>The cannon rang through the air and upon its expel into the air you released a scream into the towel as you began to push, tears still leaking uncontrollably down your face as your body tense and trembling from the effort.</p><p>You were going to get through this, you were going to find Levi and he would get to hold his baby. You would fight to the bitter end.</p><p>You released another scream into the towel getting ready to push again.</p><p>…</p><p>Levi didn’t know how long it had taken him to find your parents house.</p><p>The battle against the titans had taken to long and the area as to which your parents house stood had been surrounded by the gargantuan beasts, it had taken almost forty of his best soldiers to clear half of the Titans away from the area he needed to access. His duty as humanities strongest had kept him away from your side and he had had to offer his skill in the battle field.</p><p>He had sent some soldiers ahead to try to find you but he hadn’t heard anything, he could only assume they had perished and apart of him felt guilt for having used them for personal reasons.</p><p>He could still recall the terror he had felt when he hadn’t seen you standing with your parents amongst the other evacuees and he could only assume you were still in their house.</p><p>To say he was exhausted was an understatement but he would never falter. Every Titan he killed, every brute that fell to the floor by his blade meant he was one step closer to finding you, to keeping you safe.</p><p>And as he landed outside the house you had grown up he felt the anxiety claw away at him. The house was still standing and by some miracle every inch of it still seemed to be holding strong.</p><p>His chest fell and rose in laboured breaths as he stood panting in the blood stained street. Thick scarlet liquid was dyed into the brick of the nearby houses as severed bodies littered the cobbled streets around him. Steam rising from fallen titans that lay in the rubble of ruined houses, their bodies releasing great white clouds of billowing grey plumes into the air.</p><p>His emerald cloak was covered in blood. Whether it was Titan blood or human blood, or even his own, was unknown to him but he didn’t care at the moment. His paper white skin was also graced with spots of Titan blood that hissed and released thin ribbons of steam into the air, his hands gripping his blades which he quickly sheathed.</p><p>Levi couldn’t find the will to move, his legs weak under his weight as he stared up at the house.</p><p>If he went in and you weren’t there what could he do? He couldn’t think of anywhere you could be and he needed to believe you were alive to keep fighting. If he went int that house and you were not in it and and all hope he had would be destroyed and he didn’t know if he was ready to let go of that optimism. Going into that house would either fill him with relief and he would hold you, kiss you and tell that he loved you.</p><p>It he would feel his heart sink and he would only feel the weight if crippling grief.</p><p>There were only two endings to setting foot in the house. He was terrified as to which it would be.</p><p>“(Y/n)!” he called out as he moved towards the door, his body slamming against the wood and forcing it open with a bang.</p><p>He took no time at looking around the kitchen. His boots crushing bits of shattered plates and glass that had fallen to the floor during the earthquakes. He didn’t notice the tiny pair of butter yellow socks that rested on the wooden table, the knitting needles lying beside them not even being spared a glance as Levi dashed through the house.</p><p>His heart hammering in his chest as he moved through the house, his legs trembling with each step as he made his way up the stairs. His cape billowing behind him and ODM scabbards bumping against his thighs as he thudded up the stairs, his ebony hair fluttering around his face and dripping with blood which he knew was human shed.</p><p>His breathing became loud in his lungs as he stumbled down the upstairs landing, occasionally bunking into the wall and sending the paintings that had been hanging there to fall to the floor.</p><p>“(Y/n)!” he called out again, his voice breaking as he made it to the bedroom door which was the only one with a closed door.</p><p>He reached a hand out to take the steel doorknob in his hand, his arm trembling and fingers twitching as they brushed against the cool metal. His wedding ring making a soft click against the doorknob as he gently twisted it, the door creaking open painfully slow and he stood in the doorway, the air hitching in his lungs as he saw the sight before him.</p><p>His eyes widening from under the shadows of his hair as he gazed upon the sight before him.</p><p>You lay on the bed surrounded by blood soaked sheets, the crimson having dyed the white bed sheets a deep pink. Your eyes glassy and empty as you stared up at the ceiling but no life seemed to dwell within the beautiful (y/e/c) irises.</p><p>Your hair was dilated around your shoulders in shimmering waves, your hands resting on your now flat stomach. Your lips parted and body limp as it lay within the bloodied mess of tangled sheets, your skirts pulled up by your waist but not high enough to reveal anything. However the trail of blood that cane from between your legs was like a river that traced over the cotton white bed sheets and Levi noticed that your cheeks, while pale and cold, still had tear streaks running from the corner of your eyes that glistened like stars along your cheek bones and dampening the pillow beneath.</p><p>Levi could feel every nerve in his body shut down, his heart like a rock in his chest as it sunk to his stomach and he could do nothing but stumble to your bedside. The urge to cry not being resisted as sparkling beads they rolled down his cheeks, his narrow and stern monochrome irises now quivering as uncontrollable tears spilled from his narrow eyes and ran down his narrow face.</p><p>His knees buckling beneath him and he dropped to floor beside your bed, his hands instantly reaching to clasp your hand in his. Not caring how icy your skin was beneath his calloused hands as he knelt beside the bed, the stench of rust and dried blood filling his nose as he lowered his face to press a kiss to the back of your hand. His shoulders shaking as he tired to contain the urge to scream at the cruelty of the world.</p><p>But he couldn’t.</p><p>He couldn’t sob or howl. He couldn’t do anything but grip your hand tightly in his own as the tears continued to slid down his face. He squeezed his eyes shut as he brushed his nose over your fingers, the scent of your soap you used to wash with still lingering on your skin and his heart ached in his chest as he rubbed his face over your hand which was still gripped in his own. His full lips gracing the skin of your finger tips and he longed to hear your voice, to feel your fingers run through his undercut and to have your lips pressed against his.</p><p>He opened his eyes, pulling his head away to gaze up at your form and he reached his other hand forward to run his fingers over your eyes to close them. It was easier to pretend you were asleep, even if he knew you weren’t.</p><p>“I can’t imagine what you went through my love.” he whispered as he stared with blurred eyes at your face from his position on the floor,</p><p>You looked almost peaceful and for a moment Levi really believed you would wake up, but there was no air in your lungs and you would never get to hear him say how much he loved you ever again.</p><p>“I wish I could have been better for you.” he continued, his voice barely a whisper “you deserved better then me.”</p><p>He sighed as his eyes found the wedding ring on your finger on the hand that he held in his hand. The golden band seemed fuller now and as he stared at it he noticed how worthless the gold was now without you to add the value of what it really meant.</p><p>“I’m sorry I couldn’t have been there for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. You can rest now, leave all the shit in this world behind.”</p><p>He slowly stood to his feet, his legs still light and weak underneath him and the tears didn’t stop.</p><p>He leant down, a hand resting on your forehead as he rubbed his thumb over your forehead to pull back some hair before losing his warm lips down to press a kiss against. His full lips brushing over your skin and his eyes closing once more as he favoured the final touch, his tears running down his cheeks on into your hair.</p><p>Gently he pulled his lips away, his forehead resting against yours as he swallowed a lump in his throat, his thumb rubbing back and forth over your temple as he remained leaning over you.</p><p>“I love you (y/n).” he mumbled burying his face into your hair.</p><p>A small whimper interrupted his momentary grief and he raised his head from yours, his hand still resting on your temple as his eyes wandered the room. He hadn’t even spared a thought as to where his baby would be and at the thought of your baby being alive he found the strength to pull away to where he could hear the small cries coming from.</p><p>His heavy boots steadily moving against the floor to where he could see a small bundle of bedsheets. The pile of white linen seemed to be moving and the captain felt his heart shudder with anticipation although his face remained expressionless, the tears still slipping from his eyes as he pulled the bedsheets away.</p><p>A small, new born baby lay within the sheets, it’s eyes closed and tiny feet and hands that should have been flailing in the air remained by its side and for a moment Levi thought she was dead.</p><p>It wasn’t until he saw her tiny chest fall and rise with slow movement that he quickly knelt down. His hands reaching forward to slide under her head and body. He was unsure on how to hold her, maybe it was fatherly instinct that made sure he pulled his daughter so carefully as if she was made if glass.</p><p>He made sure to gently wrap her in one of the smaller bedsheets, holding her into his chest and he gazed down at her through watering eyes. Her tiny lips parted as she desperately tried to breath, a mop of onyx hair stuck up on her petite head and she remained still in her father arms, his cloak being grasped by her tiny hands as her chest rose and fell so softly she may as well not have been breathing.</p><p>Levi gazed down at his new born infant.</p><p>She was going to die, he knew that already. Her heart beat was barely there and she would never survive the ride back to the scout base plaza. He had never felt so hopeless and he was trying to feel something but he couldn’t.</p><p>Levi couldn’t feel anything anymore except for love for his baby girl. He cradled her fuzzy head in the crook of his arm, her body being supported by his other hand as he gently and he could only stare at her through half lidded eyes.</p><p>“I’m sorry this happened to you.” he muttered shifting his arm to support her with one and moving his free hand to brush a finger over her tiny cheek, one of her doll like hands reaching up and gently wrapping around his finger.</p><p>Levi’s eyes widened as he felt her dainty fingers grasp his own, giving it a gentle squeeze as if to tell him it was going to be ok. The breath hitching in his throat as she pulled his finger into her and the faintest of smiles tracing his lips as he raised her to his face, closing his eyes and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.</p><p>“You want your mum don’t you?” he whispered softly, his voice breaking as more tears slid out from his closed eyes “I want mine too. But I have to wait a bit longer until I get to see her again, brat.”</p><p>He took a shaky breath. He had never wanted his mother more then in this moment. He was a grown man but the want for his mothers comfort had never once left him and now he needed more then ever to be comforted by her. He had lost everything and the world just kept giving and taking and, just for a moment, the sharp metal edge of his blade seemed like a greater friend then the world had ever been.</p><p>“I’m glad I got to meet you.” he breathed as he ran a hand over his baby’s soft head “maybe we can meet again sometime.”</p><p>He couldn’t help but release a sob as he soothingly rocked the silent new born in his arms. The weight of the situation taking its time to nestle and he knew that when he got back to the seclusion of his office, he wouldn’t sleep or eat and allow himself a chance to destroy whatever lay in his bedroom in anger. But for now he only wanted to savour the last few moments with his daughter. Your daughter.</p><p>His tresses of inky hair falling around his face as he gazed down at her, and he felt his chest swell when she opened her eyes to reveal a pair of gorgeous (y/e/c) eyes. He huffed in slight laughter, tears still dancing over the surface of his eyes causing them to glisten.</p><p>“Look at that brat,” he cooed at the baby “you have your mothers eyes. We couldn’t wait to meet you, I’m sorry it went this way for you.”</p><p>He looked away from his daughter to let his eyes linger on your form on the bed, his eyes softening and he struggled to breath for a moment as his throat became dry from the crying.</p><p>“She’s beautiful (y/n).” he said quietly walking to your bed side and sitting himself down by your side.</p><p>His cheeks still damp and his daughter’s breathing growing more and more strained</p><p>“I love you. Both of you.” he cried quietly stealing one last look at your face “thank you for the best years of my life.”</p><p>…</p><p>Levi stayed by your side until the baby girl in his arms stopped breathing.</p><p>He left her in your arms, taking one last look over his shoulder at your “sleeping” form, the tiny doll like baby cradled by your chest and his heart was all but dull in his chest as he exited the house.</p><p>The tears wouldn’t stop pouring from his eyes when he eventually closed his office door, blocking out prying eyes.</p><p>Your wedding ring on a chain around his neck, hidden under his ascot and the yellow socks that had lay discarded on the kitchen table, were tucked away in a drawer in his desk. Never to be worn.</p><p>…</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>